A thought challenges you to think. A joke forces you to laugh. Enjoy both for the cost of none.

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Response from G-d

Sukkot is a time to rejoice, with that in mind here is a good joke:
A man passed away and his soul ascended to the High Court to receive his judgment. In the blink of an eye, all of his good deeds and not-good deeds were downloaded on the screen (what did you think? People invented that stuff?) It seemed as if Satan was going to have a field day with this fellow's case…
Realizing that he was practically a dead duck, the guy jumped up and requested the right to speak. G-d said, "Why not?" and so the poor man was given a chance.
"Yes, it's true that I haven't been such a righteous individual and I don't quite deserve paradise. However, I have done one very noble act which I feel should tip the scales in my favor.
"I was driving my car around the city at about midnight, when, suddenly, I heard shouts and blood-curdling screams. I looked out of the window and saw a group of gangsters – and I mean the real four-hundred-pound-body-builder-totally-drugged-with-a-look-that-could-silence-a-hungry-lion type of guys – beating the life out of a nice, innocent young man.
"I couldn't bear to witness this atrocity, so I jumped out of my car and put on my boxing gloves while running with all my might toward the scene. With a scream of "Long live the Yankees," I approached the leader of the gang – at least he seemed to be the leader, judging by his bulging muscles and his 7'5" figure – and punched him in the face, grabbed him by the collar and screamed in his ear, "Listen, sonny: from now on you're taking orders from me! First, leave this kid alone. Then, follow me to the nearest police headquarters."
G-d was quite impressed by this act of courage. So he asked him, "Tell me, son: How long ago did this act of heroism take place?"
Without blinking an eye, the guy responded, "Oh, just a few minutes ago…"

Response from G-d
Only two weeks ago, we sent a letter to G-d. Well, we have finally received His response:
Dear Child,
I bring you regards from your grandparents and all of us up here in heaven.
Thank you for your letter. It is heart-warming to see that, in spite our long separation, your love runs deep; our connection is strong.
I must tell you, your letter touched upon some important issues that need to be discussed, and there is no better time than now to put them on the table.
First of all, let me assure you that I do love you very much, and your pain hurts me deeply. When that young man was taken from the world below, I mourned. I cried. But, dear son, there is a master plan of 5767 years which is about to end soon and certain things must happen in order for the goal to be reached.
Every tear, every drop of blood, every drop of perspiration that comes from doing a mitzvah is another brick in the Holy Temple . Yes, I can do it all without your help, but it would be just like a person who prides himself with a diploma that he didn't work for – the paper is totally worthless.
The world could have been created perfect, yet I prefer imperfection. I desired a world which allows the imperfect to constantly strive toward perfection and the sinner to repent and reestablish his own connection with Me. It's just the way I like it; perhaps someday you'll understand.
The journey is almost over, and together, we are reaching our goal. The next step is yours: I wait for you to prepare yourself and your environment for the Messianic Age.
And because I love you so much, I will share with you a helpful hint: My greatest priority is that there should be love amongst My children. I want to see you focus on the similarities, not on the differences, loving one another for the simple reason that you are all siblings.
Yes, this may be very difficult. But I will remind you that right now, you have the opportunity to start out on the path of love and sharing, for in but a few days the holiday of Sukkot will commence. During these special days, you are commanded to sit in a sukkah. This is your chance – invite some guests, sing, and laugh and dance together.
And throughout the coming week, you will also be taking the "Four species," symbolizing four different types of Jews, and bind them together, shaking and uniting them.
So all I'm waiting for is for you to truly internalize that message. Grab a Jew, one that, perhaps, you generally can't find it within yourself to speak to, schlep him into your sukkah, give him food to eat, and give him a L'chaim. Pull him onto the table, put your hand on his shoulder and start dancing. And a somersault into the chicken soup would be an extra bonus…
My son, please use this chance; don't miss it again. Believe it or not, as much as you are suffering from this long and painful Galus, so am I.

With much love,

Father in Heaven

Dear friend, let's bring the message of harmony and unity into our hearts and minds and, most importantly, into our actions. This includes sitting in a sukkah and shaking the Lulav, as well as acts of love and friendship toward our fellow Jews. Let us have a truly joyous holiday with the coming of Moshiach, when all the Jews of all the generations will sit in one huge sukkah, munching on the Leviathan, chewing the great Shor Habor steak, and drinking a few shots of real L'chaim! Amen!

No comments:

Time To revolt

The whole World is waiting for You!

The Rebbe - the ultimate revolutionary

The Rebbe - the ultimate revolutionary